The Discovery of the Legendary PMSing Male
by Fleur de Anemone
Summary: The three scientists of the National Institute of Stupid Discoveries make the epic discovery of the missing link: The Legendary PMSing Male.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.  
**Aforenotes: **Just enjoy... XD

**The Discovery of the Legendary PMSing Male  
****By Fleur de Anemone**

Our scientists fought off beasts, poisonous insects, and many, many young ninjas to obtain this valuable information. As they pushed through the plants and shrubs of the Fire Country, they thought about their families at home, and what might become of them if they were to die. Finally breaking out into a clearing, they caught their first glimpse of it; surrounded with weapons and two other teammates, his eyes white as snow, stood the legendary PMSing male.

Statistics of the PMSing Male

**Name:** Hyuuga Neji  
**Scientific Name: **Hyuugus Nejius  
**Age (At Time Of Discovery):** 13  
**Year Discovered:** 2004  
**Residence:** Fire Country, Konohagakure  
**Height (At Time Of Discovery):** 5 foot 3 inches  
**Weight (At Time Of Discovery):** 101 pounds  
**Birth Date:** July 3rd, 1991  
**Blood Type:** O  
**Teammates (At Time Of Discovery):** Tenten (13), Rock Lee (13)  
**Sensei (At Time Of Discovery):** Maito Gai (26)  
**Shinobi Rank (At Time Of Discovery):** Genin

Obtaining information about the PMSing male was not easy. He didn't answer questions directly, and threatened our scientists frequently to leave whenever he was asked a question he did not like. Below, we have our scientist's brief Q and A with the PMSing male.

Q (Scientists): Did you know before we discovered you that you were the legendary PMSing male?  
A (Neji): "What? What the hell are you talking about? I don't PMS. I'm a GUY, you know. You want PMS, go see Haruno Sakura (12)!"

Q: How do you feel about being the legendary PMSing male?  
A: "WHAT THE HELL. For the second time, I _don't_ PMS. Gai-sensei might PMS, but that's because he's too gay to realize it. Leave me alone, before I shove stuffing up your ass and have you served at my birthday feast!"

Q: When did you first realize you PMS?  
A: "I DO _NOT_ PMS, DAMN IT! What the fuck, are you idiots stupid or something?"

After our last question, Neji kicked one of our scientists in the stomach, then grabbed his shoulders and smashed him into our other scientists. As the three scientists limped away in pain, they added to their report: "PMSing male (Hyuugus Nejius) is violent and unpredictable. His vocabulary of obscenities is well beyond his years. " As they left, the said they could hear the PMSing male conversing with his teammates. What was said is described below.

Neji (Hyuugus Nejius): What the fuck were those guys talkng about? I don't PMS.  
Tenten: Actually, Neji, you PMS a lot. Your temper tantrums are kinda getting scary.  
Neji: Temper tantrums? Since when do I have _temper tantrums_?  
Rock Lee: Since Naruto beat some sense into you, friend Neji.  
Neji: Shut up, I'll kill his ass next time.  
Tenten: If that's what you want to believe, we'll back you up.  
Neji:... Tenten, get some weapons and keep training. Lee... Go hug Gai-sensei.  
Rock Lee and Tenten in unison: Right!

**Techniques and Strengths**

After digging through some archives, our scientists discovered some things about the PMSing male's techniques and his history. From the Hyuuga family, the PMSing male possesses the fearsome "byakugan," or "white eye." It is believed to be related to the Uchiha clan's "sharingan," or "wheel eye," and is a stronger variaton of it. The byakugan gives the user 360 degree vision, except for one time blind spot behind the thoratic vertebra. The blind spot is known to be the only weakness of the ability.

Basic byakugan can see around a 50-foot radius of the user, but the PMSing male's byakugan can see further. The PMSing male's byakugan can see the coil system inside his opponents, or the series of veins where chakra is distributed throughout the body. Because of this he can see the opening points where the chakra comes out, and he can also, by pressing them in a certain way, close the holes by the use of the juken fighting style. Only very advanced byakugan users like the PMSing male can use aforementioned juken easily, and because of this, the PMSing male can stop the chakra flow completely with disasterous effects.

There are many other techniques that only Hyuugas can use, such as the PMSing male's "Eight Trigram Palms Heavenly Spin," which creates a protective dome of chakra around him. Others include the "Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms," and the "Eight Trigrams One Hundred Twenty-Eight Palms."

Our scientist's informative findings caused the PMSing male to appear and attack them. They narrowly escaped, with only one of them dying of blood loss shortly after reporting their findings to the National Institute of Stupid Discoveries.


End file.
